


Roads Home

by cynatnite



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Spoilers, Clint lies to himself a lot., Clint's homecoming, F/M, M/M, No bad guys here, some things just don't work out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-02
Updated: 2016-06-02
Packaged: 2018-07-11 18:27:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7065232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cynatnite/pseuds/cynatnite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Steve thanked Clint for helping him out, Clint responds with "You're doing me a favor". It turns out to be truer than what Clint believed at the time. </p>
<p>My head canon says this is what happens after CA:CW.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Roads Home

Getting back into the states wasn’t as difficult as Clint had thought. Steve Rogers offered alternative countries where the Accords wouldn’t get him arrested. It was a polite decline and Steve had almost argued. Clint was let off in Vancouver in a remote location. From there it was easy to cross the border and make his way across the country as an itinerant.

Laura hadn’t been happy at his leaving. He couldn’t blame her. Clint was breaking a promise on top of the other thousand ones he’d made to her over the years. From the time he started with SHIELD, she’d been supportive all the way. When Laura became pregnant with Lila, his wife had asked for him to be home more. Clint understood that. He’d spent so much time away that’d he barely saw Cooper as it was.

The Loki mind-fuck had made sure of that. He’d kept to home for several months trying to be normal. The loss of Phil Coulson had added to the tailspin of his life at the time. Natasha showed up with the news of his former handler’s revival. After seeing Phil for himself to make sure he wasn’t totally losing his mind, Clint got his footing back and joined the Avengers full time.

When Laura became pregnant with Nathanial, they’d agreed together and Clint promised this was it. He would hang up his bow.

It lasted up until the call from Steve and Clint immediately said yes.

In the time since he’d called it quits, Clint had eyed the unused bow and quiver at the top of his closet. He began to take it down on occasion to clean it and make sure it was ready. For what, he didn’t know.

When Clint finally decided to take it out back for target practice, he’d hollered for Cooper and told Laura he wanted to teach his son. She’d nodded, but he knew she didn’t believe him. Cooper had decided that archery wasn’t for him and left in favor of the Xbox in his room. Clint kept shooting at the targets long after his son had left him.

The more time Clint spent in the pasture out back with his bow and the targets, the more distant Laura was becoming. While no one spoke of it, they both knew the truth.

Sometimes in the middle of the night, while everyone slept, Clint would ease out of the bed and take to the barn where he would use moves from his old circus days. In the rafters he’d leap from one to the other making near impossible shots. He pushed himself as hard as he had while with SHIELD and in the range Stark had designed for him during his time as an Avenger.

During all this, Natasha would stop in for a visit or he’d get a call from Phil from time to time. They said little to him about their work, but Clint yearned for missions. He’d never imagined he’d miss that life for as much as he’d bitch about being away from home and the horrid conditions many of them took place in. He missed the adrenaline, working with Natasha and Phil. With every jump from beam to beam, every arrow that hit the bullseye and every day that passed with him sitting on the sidelines, Clint was growing more taciturn.

The call from Steve changed everything.

_He was getting his gear together when Laura entered the bedroom. She sat on the bed and watched him shoving a change of clothes in a backpack._

_“Should only be a couple of days,” Clint told her._

_“Tell him no.”_

_Clint got out his bow case and set it on the dresser. “I can’t, babe. He needs my help.”_

_“He’ll find someone else. It doesn’t have to be you.”_

_Moving to her, Clint said, “I’m not leaving for a mission. This is different.”_

_Laura got to her feet. “It will always be different, Clint.”_

_“Listen, this is important. If we don’t stop what’s happening, it’s the entire world.”_

_“And in another few months it’ll be another ‘entire world’ mission. The world will always need saving, Clint. You said yourself, there are enough heroes already out there to save it. It doesn’t have to be you.”_

_“He’s counting on me, Laura. I have to go.”_

_“And us? The kids?”_

_Clint stilled. “I always come back and I will this time. When it’s over, I’ll tell Steve that’s it. I’m done for good.”_

_“Lie to me, Clint, but don’t lie to yourself.” Laura shook her head and went back to the bed._

_“I’m not!” Clint said almost yelling. He took a deep breath and forced himself to calm his temper. “I owe him, Laura.”_

_He watched her rub her eyes and when she lowered her hands, there were tears in her eyes._

_“No, you don’t, Clint.” Her voice was filled with sadness and regret. “You owe Phil. For you, Captain America was your link to Phil. You’ve talked often enough of how Phil felt about him.”_

_Clint swung around. “This is stupid,” he bit out. “Phil’s got nothing to do with this!”_

_“Over the years, I’ve watched Phil bring you home. A few of those were with you wounded. You two had your own world that I couldn’t hope to breach.”_

_The memories came back. Oslo, frozen half to death. Clint and Phil had escaped gun runners into the wilderness. They hunkered down in a cabin to await extraction. While the snowstorm had raged outside, both had found respite in each other’s arms. The sex had been voracious and intense. The following morning after the weather had cleared, they’d made their own promises to each other. It’d never happen again and it wouldn’t interfere with business._

_It had remained true for the most part. Clint had heard and seen the want in Phil’s eyes and voice from time to time. He’d even caught himself remembering that night and wanting more. The subject remained off limits._

_After a rough mission a few months later, Clint arrived home and seeing the happiness on her face the guilt was instantaneous. That night he’d told her what happened. Laura was never one for outbursts and he expected it. Instead, she questioned him intently over his relationship with Phil. Clint had taken a two-month sabbatical and spent most of that time sleeping on the couch while he and Laura tried to put it all back together._

_He’d thought it was behind them._

_“Phil’s in love with you, Clint. Has been for years.”_

_That he hadn’t expected to hear._

_“Phil told you that?” Clint was reeling._

_“No, but it wasn’t hard to miss. Nat saw it, too. I’m not sure if Phil was even aware at the time.”_

_“Laura, it was just that one time. I swear.”_

_“I know, Clint. I was too afraid to say anything, but this time I watched you slowly shutting down the longer you stayed away from SHIELD and the Avengers. Making you stay will only make it harder on us and the kids.”_

_“Are you saying it’s over?”_

_“That’s where it’s leading. I think you and I both know it’s been a long time in coming.”_

_Clint shook his head. “No, we’re going to work this out. As soon as I get back we’re taking a honeymoon or something. Nat will help with the kids.”_

_“Clint,” Laura began._

_“We’re not giving up, Laura,” Clint insisted. He was going to keep the family together no matter what. He’d witnessed the disastrous marriage of his parents where alcohol and drugs took priority over he and his brother. He’d thought he had a family of sorts with the circus, but when he was left behind after his brother nearly killed him Clint was alone in the world._

_Then along came a girl with kindness and a beautiful smile. She’d made a home for them. In a desperate attempt to hold onto it, Clint had cut a deal with Nick Fury when one of his merc jobs ended with him and Laura on the run._

_Clint pulled Laura close and gave her a firm kiss on the lips. He took his gear and left before she could say another word._

After being let off at the two lane road by a truck driver, Clint turned down the dirt road and began the two mile walk to home. He thought over how he’d left things with Laura. He’d been careful and not recognized. Steve had warned him and the others there were warrants on them. He’d never trust Stark again. Loyalty meant nothing to that bastard. Clint had an open invitation in Wakanda, but just shook his head. He had to get home.

The short time on the Raft had given him a lot of time to think about. Laura was right about a lot of things, but it wasn’t in him to give up without a fight.

It was good to be back home, Clint thought as he took the steps to the porch. He was surprised to see the door open and Laura stood in the doorway appearing at a loss for words. Before either could speak, Cooper and Lila were coming down the stairs.

He stepped inside and smiled when he got a hug from Lila. Looking at Cooper had Clint uncertain. His son was at the foot of the stairs not moving. It took a nudge from Laura to get the boy to move forward. The hug was an awkward one.

It was almost like a normal family. Clint played with Nathaniel with Lila helping. Cooper was at the kitchen table playing his tablet while Laura fixed dinner. Afterwards, Clint headed upstairs for a shower. He helped get the kids ready for bed.

By the time he came back downstairs for the talk he expected to have with Laura, his eyes went to the site of the pillow and blanket on the couch.

What Clint hadn’t realized was this wasn’t a homecoming. It was a visit. Laura had packed up his things and stored them in the barn. She had already spoke with Cooper and Lila. Clint realized that when his daughter asked when he was coming back. His eyes crossed with Laura’s and he knew without another talk. It was over. He turned back to Lila and promised her soon.

Clint was surprised by his own reaction to the realization. He and Laura had been young when they’d gotten together. Cooper had come along too early in their relationship. Maybe they’d both could have seen it coming had he not spent so much time on missions away from home.

Then there was Phil Coulson. Over the years, Clint had come to rely on Phil as more than his handler. The man was in many ways closer to him than anyone else. He’d attributed it to the life and death situations they found themselves in and living out of each other’s pockets. It was easy to see Natasha as his best friend, but with Phil…there was something between them that was indescribable. Clint had written it off as part and parcel of their jobs. The one-night stand so long ago had been an outlier. At least that’s what he’d told himself.

Clint began wondering how many lies he’d been telling himself over the years.

As Clint was leaving, Laura said she’d be in touch. He knew what that meant and he nodded. As much as the word divorce knotted his stomach, it was the right thing to do. Laura was the mother of his children and it was important to do right by her and them as well. She deserved to be happy and Clint now realized he couldn’t give her that.

He stayed off the main roads as he traveled. Clint spent two nights in the pickup and he found the non-descript building as Natasha had told him. It didn’t take much effort to get inside.

Clint was instructed on where to go and he took the elevator to the lower basement level. There was purpose in his steps he went to the end of the corridor to a small office. Clint almost smiled as he rapped on the door with his knuckle.

“In,” he heard from the other side.

Clint opened the door and leaned against the frame. Phil was typing away on a laptop without even a glance in his direction.

“I’m here to pick up a job application.”

Phil’s eyes shot up in surprise. He stood.

“Clint? What the hell?”

“Word has it this new SHIELD’s in need of an agent or two. Clint stepped into the office and grinned. “Of course, I’m wanted in about 117 countries including this one.”

Phil came around his desk and moved in front of Clint.

“So I’ve heard. I know a guy that owes me. Space is a hot commodity around here. I’ve got a couch in my quarters with room to spare.”

Clint was so damn happy his cheeks hurt.  

“You’re sure? You want me here?”

“Always.”


End file.
